


Do You Really Want Me?

by arlene28



Series: Writing Challenge One-shots [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arlene28/pseuds/arlene28
Summary: Written for- 2Ways2go! Angel's 2k Follower Celebration on TumblrMy prompts were- 'Hate That I love You' by Rihanna and Neyo"I need to know. Is this real?"





	Do You Really Want Me?

Do You Really Want me?

 

I gulp down what’s left of my fifth beer as I watch Dean across the room. He’s flirting with yet another bimbo, who will probably end up in his bed tonight. I hate being like this. Like some angry, jealous shrew but dammit, I love him! I’ve loved him for so long now but I can never tell him that. I get up with a sigh, deciding to head back to the bunker. Dean notices and starts to head over to me but I wave him off, miming that I’m going to walk. He doesn’t look happy for a second but then the bimbo presses her breasts against him and his full attention lands back on her. I walk outside and head towards the bunker, sticking my headphone in as I go. My new favourite song comes on. Hate that I love You by Rihanna and Neyo. It’s my favourite because it puts into words exactly how I feel right now. 

That's how much I love you (yeah)  
That's how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeah)  
That's how much I love you  
That's how much I need you  
And I can't stand you  
Must everything you do make me wanna smile  
Can I not like you for a while? (No)

I push my hands in my pockets and walk along with my head down, tears slowly starting to roll down my face. Why out of everyone on this planet, do I have to love Dean Winchester?

But you won't let me  
You upset me girl  
And then you kiss my lips  
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)  
Can't remember what you did

I speed up slightly, wanting to be home and in my room before Dean seals the deal and I have to see them all over each other. Why can’t that be me? Because I want more than that. I’ve had a couple of drunken nights with Dean but I want more. I want the full thing, love and happily ever after. Or as happily ever after as we could get with this life.

But I hate it...  
You know exactly what to do  
So that I can't stay mad at you  
For too long that's wrong

I walk into the bunker, ignoring Sam’s pitying stare. He knows about my feelings for Dean of course. He thinks I should tell him but I know it will just make things awkward. Dean doesn’t love me, he can’t. I’m just me, too plain.

But I hate it...  
You know exactly how to touch  
So that I don't want to fuss and fight no more  
Said I despise that I adore you

I throw myself down on my bed and sob into the pillow as I hear Dean wandering to his room with the bimbo from the bar giggling along with him.

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)  
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you)  
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa)  
But I just can't let you go  
And I hate that I love you so (oh)

I turn the music up even more, hoping that it will drown out the sound of Dean’s activities with his bar slut. 

You completely know the power that you have  
The only one makes me laugh

My music doesn’t drown out the noise so I decide to go down to the garage, work on my car.

Said it's not fair  
How you take advantage of the fact  
That I...  
Love you beyond the reason why  
And it just ain't right

I pull the hood up on my car and get to work on the engine, headphones still in and tears still rolling down my cheeks.

And I hate how much I love you girl  
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah)  
And I hate how much I love you girl  
But I just can't let you go  
But I hate that I love you so

Why did I have to fall for him? If I’d fallen for Sam I’d probably be happy right now.

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me  
And your kiss won't make me weak  
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me  
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...  
Yeah  
Oh oh oh  
Yeah yeah yeah  
That's how much I love you  
(as much as I need you)  
How much I need you  
(oh)  
That's how much I need you  
How much I love you  
That's how much I love you  
I need you  
That's how much I need you  
I need you  
(oh)  
As much as I need you  
And I hate that I love you so  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
I can't stand how much I need you  
(I can't stand how much I need you)  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
But I just can't let you go  
(but I just can't let you go no..)  
And I hate that I love you so  
And I hate that I love you so so

As the song finishes after the third repeat, I realise something. It’s time for me to leave.

 

 

I wait until the next morning, after Sam helps Dean’s ‘date’ leave and goes on his run but before Dean wakes up. I quietly carry my bag out to my car and go to get in it.

“Where are you going?” A sleepy sounding voice says from the doorway.

“Nowhere important.” I sigh, turning to face Dean.

“Why do I think you’re lying to me?” He scowls, suddenly awake.

“I can’t help what you do or don’t believe.” I shrug, turning back to my car.

I open the door but Dean is suddenly there and he slams it shut, leaning against it so I can’t get in. 

“Dean! What the hell?! Move!” I shout, glaring at him.

“Not until you tell me where you’re going!” He snaps.

“Oh, like you care! Why don’t you just go to another bar and pick up another slut!” I scream, unable to hold back my feelings.

“Careful, you almost sound jealous.” He frowns.

“Oh please, you wish.” I snarl.

I yelp as he’s suddenly backed me up against my car, caging me in with his arms. 

“Move.” I gasp, unable to speak louder.

“What the fuck is going on?” He demands.

“Please.” I whisper, knowing I’m not going to resist for much longer.

“No!” He shouts, slamming his hands down on my car.

I stare into his angry green eyes and I have no idea what comes over me. I grab his head and pull him down for a desperate kiss. He hesitates for a second and then kisses me back, pressing me against my car. I moan into the kiss as he grabs my ass, lifting me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist. My hands run through his hair and he groans as I tug it. He bites on my bottom lip and I gasp, dropping my head back as he kisses along my jaw until he reaches my neck. I cry out and buck against him as he bites down on my neck, sucking a mark onto the flesh. There’s a few minutes as we roughly pull each other’s clothing off between sloppy passionate kisses. I scream in pleasure as he slams me down on the hood of my car and thrusts deep inside me. He captures my lips again as he begins to pound into me. I moan into his mouth and my nails dig into his back, deep enough to draw a little blood. My skin sticks to the car hood as sweat coats my body but I barely notice as Dean manages to hit my g-spot on every stroke. 

“Cum for me. Scream my name.” He growls into my ear.

A few more thrusts and I do exactly what he says, screaming his name as I cum. My nails scratch down his back as my body arches, causing my legs to tighten around his waist and my pussy walls to clamp down on his shaft. He groans and cums, spilling inside me as my inner walls milk him dry. He collapses over me, only just catching his weight on his elbows before he lands on me.   
We pant for breath as we come back down, kissing gently and stroking each other’s skin. I look into his eyes and see the love I’ve wanted for so long but I know it’s just my blissed-out mind playing tricks on me. He sighs and stands back up, pulling away from me. I begin to pull on my clothes and he grabs his.

“I’m gonna grab a shower and when I’m done, we’re gonna talk about where you were trying to sneak off to.” Dean smirks at me, kissing me once more.

I nod and he walks away. I feel tears roll down my cheeks as I get in my car and drive away, knowing there’s no way I can stand to watch Dean with his endless parade of women now that we’ve had that time together.

 

 

Five years later, I’m making a call I never wanted to make. I must call Dean. A few weeks after I left, I found out that I was pregnant. It took me another six months to make up my mind and tell Dean that he was going to be a Father. I refused to tell him where I lived, instead I agreed that Bobby could collect our son, take him to the scrapyard and let Dean see him there. After Bobby died, it was Jodie that did it for me. I couldn’t bear to see Dean again, to see how little he cares about me. Unfortunately, I HAVE to call him now. Our son is missing, something supernatural has him and I need help to save him. Dean answers the phone and I tell him everything, heavy heartedly giving him my address. He says he’ll be right over and the next thing I know, I have Dean, Castiel, Crowley and Sam standing there. 

“Tell me everything.” Dean snaps, looking panicked and pissed.

I refuse to meet the angry gazes of the other men, wondering why they’re so pissed at me. It’s not my fault our son was taken…is it? I tell Dean everything, sounding more panicked with every word.

“Calm down, we’ll save him.” Dean says softly, wrapping his arms around me.

I tense but then I sink into him as I sob with fear. Dean holds me as Cas and Crowley do their thing and manage to sense our son in a warehouse not far away. We get ready, after I refuse to let them leave me behind, we head off. We save our son and as I tuck him into bed later that night, Dean asks to talk to me. 

“What is it?” I ask as he leads me into my bedroom.

“I love you. I want us to be a family.” Dean says, looking into my eyes.

I burst out laughing at his ridiculous statement.

“Don’t laugh. It’s true, I’ve always loved you.” Dean states, pulling me into his arms.

It can’t be, it’s not true! I stumble as my vision flashes, making me see the walls of a warehouse before my room comes back into focus again. I shake my head and step back. Something isn’t right. He reaches for me but I push him away, seeing the warehouse again. He grabs me, lifting me into his arms and I gasp, coming awake to see Dean’s worried face above me as we sit in a warehouse.

“W-what?” I gasp, confused.

“Sh, take a minute to wake up properly. You’re safe now.” Dean says softly.

“I don’t understand.” I whisper, still trying to focus properly.

“Our son’s school called me when you didn’t pick him up. When I took him to your home we saw signs of a struggle and we managed to track you here. It was a Djinn.” He explains, still holding me tightly.

“Oh fuck! Our son!” I gasp, trying to bolt upright.

“It’s okay! Cas has him at yours.” Dean says, trying to make me stay down.

“Wait! How did you know where we lived?” I gasp, fear that the Djinn still has me kicking in as I remember that our son doesn’t know the address properly yet.

“I’ve loved you since the day we met, do you really think I’d let you go without getting Cas or Crowley to find out where you are?” He smirks.

“You what?” I breathe in disbelieve.

“I love you. I have since we first met. All those women? Just distractions from you. Then we had mind blowing sex but you ran away, leaving Sam to tell me about how I’d made you feel! Then I get a call saying you’re pregnant but you don’t want me to know where you’re living! Do you know how much that killed me? I love you and I can’t lose you again, can’t let you go.” He says desperately.

I have a thought that I must still be in the Djinn’s dream world but I dismiss it. This doesn’t feel the same, doesn’t feel like he’s lying to me. 

“I need to know. Is this real?” I whisper.

“Yes, Sweetheart, it is but after waiting five years, I can wait until you believe that.” He smiles.

“I already do.” I breathe, heart aching at the time we’ve lost.

He grins at me and then kisses me softly, putting all his love into it.


End file.
